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I have lately become a more active denizen of the internet, partially because I am paid to be so and partially because my current state of temporary semi-retirement has left me with more time on my hands to bumble around Pinterest and the like. I have also reached a point in my life where I have graduated from “Oh, I care about my appearance and making a good impression on the people around me” to “Heh. Isn’t this t-shirt HILARIOUS?”

And strangely, one of my closest friends told me the other day that I look hotter and more put together than I did in college, when I actually gave half a flying fig about my appearance. Go figure.

Anywho…I am amused by great knitting t-shirts, and if you’re here, I figured you would be too, so I have waded through the many fairly similar iterations of entertaining ideas and pulled out my favorites (i.e., the ones I would buy if I were the sort of person to spend $20 a pop on t-shirts for myself).

Keep Calm and Carry Yarn

Based on a classic British World War II poster, this t-shirt is the only one of about  ten thousand iterations of the “Keep Calm” meme that I like. “Keep Calm and Go Running?” Really? It breaks the rhythm of the slogan. “Carry Yarn” sounds like an understandably misconstrued version of “Carry On,” so it works for me. I particularly like this version of the shirt (a) because it’s a baby doll and they are the only t-shirts worth owning if you have breasts and (b) because the design closely mimics the original.

I’m Developing My Post-Apocalyptic Skill Set

And also, my t-shirt design skills. A while back, I saw a great t-shirt that that a ball of yarn and some knitting needles with a slogan that was something to the effect of, “It’s not a hobby, I’m developing my post-apocalyptic skill set.” I didn’t bookmark the t-shirt and I haven’t been able to find it again, but thanks to the ever-so-nifty designer function of Spreadshirt, I made up my own version so you can see what I’m talking about.

I Spin Because Knitting Is Not Weird Enough

True story. Also, I’m not kidding about the post-apocalyptic skill set thing, and knitters are useless without spinners. Some of us are going to have to multi-task, ladies and gents, and I for one intend to be in a position to “teach and supervise” when the end comes around.

Don’t Bother Me While I’m Knitting

Two things I like about this shirt: first, it has an adorable ninja, and I sometimes imagine that my circulars are tiny, pointy nun-chucks with a really long chain. Second, it’s honest and covers your bases for both the sentiment of, “Shut up, I’m counting” and “Not tonight, honey, I’m knitting.”

Achievement Unlocked: Mad Knitting Skills

I would never buy this because (a) they obviously should have gone the l33t speak route, but didn’t and (b) flannel pajama pants are always sized for people who have no legs and I just don’t dig sleeping in highwater pants. All the same, I like the gamer tie-in and the overall design of the shirt.

Knitting: It Is What It Is

My husband’s family has a long-running joke about “It is what it is,” so there’s a personal tie-in here, but I think the sentiment is more universally true. It’s hard to explain to non-knitters why we love knitting, especially after three weeks of swearing at what should have been a simple project, but what can we say? It is what it is.

Yarrrrn!

Some people say ninjas. Some people say pirates. I say…why not ninjas AND pirates? How about a pirate who has a secret ninja identity? What eventually gives him away is his love of knitting in both lives… No, you’re right. Even I wouldn’t read that story. All the same…YARRRRN!

So now that I’ve sent you all down a road of laughing hysterically over silly t-shirts that few of us have enough occasion to wear to justify spending our entire wardrobe budget on t-shirts, I’ll leave you to the garden paths of finding your own shirts to be amused by. You’re welcome.

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